Die Kairi! Muahahah!
by RyuAshi
Summary: Big FF crossover... Kairi dies! Just pretend the are spaces, i dont feel like fixing it. R & R! It will only have two chapters!
1. The Plan and alot of cameo's

Me: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy7, 8, or 10! Whee!

Censor Moogle: Do I get cookies in this fic too? 

Me: No but if you write me a Final Fantasy dictionary then I will give you a penny I found in my shoe. 

C. Moogle: Okai! *starts writing*

Me: *starts typing story*

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Ah, it's a beautiful day on Destiny Island(s, whatever). So pretty, so normal… so damn normal… 

*PLOT HOLE!!*

-on the papou island-

Riku: Ooh, plot hole! *pokes plot hole*

-plot hole disappears-

Riku: Aww. *looks at bridge and sees –someone- coming* Who is that? Oh wait… uh oh…

Kairi (on bridge): *yelling* RIKU! Gimme a kiss!

Riku: -panicking- AIYEEE! *grabs Sora out of thin air* SORA! SAVE MEH!

Sora: From what? *sees Kairi* EEEK!!

Kairi: -is now on island- Oh Riiiku- chaaan! OoOh, heeyy Sora- kunnn *advances toward cowering guys*

S/R: Eep!

-Suddenly, Sephiroth appears! Yay!-

Sephiroth: Die Kairi! Stupid $*@^#!

Riku: I agree totally. What did I just say? Totally? WAII!! I'M GOING INSANE! … Okay, I'm better now… I think…

Kairi: *talking to authoress* oh I should turn around? Okais! ^^

Riku: *sticks tounge out at authoress and hides dark keyblade behind back*

Authoress: I have almighty powers. For example: -Riku and Sora are pulled into kiss by unseen force- Mwhahaha! Now it's shounen- ai! Hahaha!

Sora: Don't do that again. Please. 

Riku: Uh Sora… -Kairi edges closer to Riku-

Riku: Sephiroth? –Kairi gets closer-

Riku: AIYEE! *slices Kairi in half* ^_^()

Sephiroth: O.o

Sora: O.o… WAIT! OH NO!!

-Everyone looks in horror as each half turns into a new Kairi-

Yuffie and Aeris: We will protect you!

Cloud: Where did you come from?

Sephiroth: Where did all three of you come from!?

C/ A/ Y: Good question!

S/ S/ R: -_-

Kairis: Hey guys, you're forgetting me! 

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOO- 

Kairis: *take one step*

Everyone: AIYEE! *run to other side of island*

Kairis: Now I wonder where they went…

Authoress: Just read what I typed, it's right above what I'm saying.

Kairis: Thanks! 

Authoress: -nods-

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~*~*~On other side…~*~*~

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Cloud: Everyone huddle!

Yuffie: -has paint under her eyes- Ok, Cloud, you pass it to Riku, Riku pass it t-

Sora: Football HUDDLE! Not football GAME! –mutters- Stupid…

Yuffie: Whatever. Ooh, I have a plan!

Yuna: I WILL SUMMON KIRBY!!!

Everyone: Where did you come from!!!!!?????

Yuna: *shifty eyes* Nothing, no where, don't worry about it…

Cloud: Whatever…

Riku: So how are we supposed to kill her?

Sephiroth: She is like a ^*&#$%@ hydra!

Sora: What's a hydra?

Everyone: Baka Sora!

Sora: -anime tears- Not baka! WaaaahhH!

Yuna: … Anyway! *summons Kirby with freaky summoner's dance that is shortened because they usually take to long*

Kirby: SQUEE! I'M KIRBY! I'M PINK AND I'M SUGAR HIGH AND I CAN SELF DESTRUCT AND I LIKE SUGAR AND I AM A GUARDIAN FORCE! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Riku: o.o;;

Sephiroth: o.o;;

Yuna: o.o;;

Yuffie: o.o;;

Aeris: o.o;;

Cloud: o.o;;

Sora: ^_^ mmm cheese… mmm… *daydreaming*

Sephiroth: Grr.. *kicks Sora off island*

-Random Announcer Dude appears-

R.A.D.: Only 7 survivors left! Woo! –disappears-

Aeris: ??? Anyway let's go before the Kairis find us again.

Kairi 1: WE'RE-

Kairi 2: HERE!!

Everyone: *explodes*

Kirby: Oops, I farted! Hehe!

-Everyone reappears-

Everyone: X.o

Riku: Yay the Kairis are gone! *sniff sniff* DUDE WHATS THAT SMELL!

Kirby: -explodes-

Tidus: I must perform the sending! –does sending dance-

Tidus: Now I must make like a dolphin and fly! Meow! *runs into water and drowns*

Yuna: What a freak, I can't believe I kissed him.

Yuffie: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YOU KISSED THAT MORON? EEEEWW!

Riku: Uh hello people! We need to kill Kairi (both of her) before the b&^%h kills us!

Aeris: Since we have no ideas and neither does the authoress (Authoress: *nods*) Lets get the reviewers to vote!

Sephiroth: Nah that's too commonly used. I will use my secret weapon! It's-

-train loudly passes by-

Sehpiroth: Got it?

Everyone: Hai!

Riku: Hope this works…

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!(@*&*@!&#$^*&@$^*@&$^*@&^*@&$^*@^$*@^$*@^$*&@^$*&@

Me: I will not tell what happens!

C. Moogle: -is writing book-

Riku: Please review, the authoress said if she doesn't get 5 reviews she wont write anymore and even worse, she'll glomp me again! 

Me: *nods*

Riku: ;_;


	2. And the girl is DISPOSED OF! YAYAYYAYAY!

Me: Wow, ten reviews in a week. I'm so proud ^___^

Censor Moogle: It was more than a week stupid.

Me: Way to rain down on someone's parade ;_;

C. Moogle: Well, that's my job.

Me: Just say the only line you will get in this. 

C. Moogle: Akuen doesn't own anything. She can't even afford Final Fantasy 7 right now. Oh, she doesn't own that either.

Me: Appreciate it. Thanks for sharing my financial state. -_-

C. Moogle: Anytime! ^______^

-

Okai Kairi dies in this one!

-

Riku: -in tree- I'm ready.

*Aeris, Sora, and Cloud are all in a small tree house*

Cloud: We're ready.

Sora: I want my own hiding spot! -whines-

Aeris: Shut up! -slaps Sora-

Sora: #_- Owies.

Sephiroth: -in 'secret place'- Ok, now we wait.

-5 mins later-

Sora: I'm hungry.

Aeris: Go get a coconut and lure Kairi here then.

Sora: Okai! ^_^… wait a second… if I leave you will lock me out.

Cloud: -shifty eyes- We never said that…

Sora: -pouts, then- OH MY LORD WHAT IS THAT THING IT'S DISGUSTING EEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!

Yuffie: -looks at ground- Eeewww!

-Everyone looks and sees a nasty looking booger type thing 'walking' toward the premises.-

Nasty Booger Thing: Hi! Meh name ish Bob. Do yeh haf anee cheeeeese?

Sora: NO THE CHEESE IS MINE! BACK OFF OR I'LL SLICE YOU IN HALF YOU EVIL THEIF!

N.B.T.: O.o… Okai.. bai bai saiko peepull… -'walks' away-

Riku: -looks at Arashi- What pray tell did that have to do with the story?

Arashi: Time filler, and I needed some randomness. 

Riku: Riiight.

*Awkward silence*

*More awkward silence*

-Meanwhile:

Yuna: Wasn't I in this?

Arashi: Shh, I am writing this in Science class and I forgot who all is in the fic ^___^;;;

Yuna: Ooooh, okay. 

-Back to islanders-

Sephiroth: Okay, I think I see the Kairis coming.

Riku: Here we go…

Kairis: Hey people! 

Sephiroth: OI KUJA!

-Kuja appears-

Kuja: Hai, Sephiroth?

Yuffie: NOW!

-Everyone pushes Kuja at the Kairis-

Kairis: EEEW I GOT CONCEALER ON ME! EEEEWWWW PINK EYESHADOW! AW NASTY! 

Kuja: ^_^ -explodes-

Kairis: ô_ô -explode-

Everyone: YAYYY! 

Arashi: THE END SUCKAS!

-

Arashi: *sniff* I'm so proud!

C. Moogle: -mouth is taped up- Mumble mumble.

Arashi Thanks to all! I appreciate you reading this piece of crap!


End file.
